For My Kyler

 Thank you for bearing my brother's name and keeping his memory alive. I wish so bad you could have met your "Uncle Ryan" but we have peace knowing you will see him again one day in heaven with your creator. 

Thank you for making me laugh. You always have this kindred spirit that loves to make people laugh. I pray that you will never lose that happiness and joy. 

Thank you for snuggling with me in my bed after you wake up at 7 am. It makes waking up next to you a pleasure and I just can't get enough lovin from you.

Thank you for holding hands with me in the car. Even though I let you sit up front sometimes when I am not supposed to, I love that you won't snatch your hand back if I ask to hold it. 

Thank you for saying your prayers each night and before meals. Jesus loved the little children and I cry at your innocence in you young age of 3. It makes my heart so happy.

Thank you for going into the fitting room with me while we go shopping and each time I put on a dress you say I look like a Princess... what Mom wouldn't want to hear that?

Thank you for sharing even though you don't want to. I know that it is difficult to share your toys with your friends but I am so proud that you do your best.

Thank you for being kind and gentle with Ryley and other little children. You are going to make an excellent Father one day with how sweet you are. 

Thank you for loving your Daddy. He may be gone a lot but he loves you just as much and I know how hard it is for him to be away from you, but please know that he does this for our family because he loves us. We should be so proud of him for his sacrifice for us as a family and the United States as a country. 

Thank you for looking just like me. I know you had nothing to do with this, but there really is no greater compliment that a son looks just like his mother. It may be part of the reason why I just love taking so many pictures of you! 

I'll love you forever, 

I'll like you for always, 

as long as I'm living, 

my baby you'll be. 

Get Some

This weekend we were blessed to attend the Rock Church Getaway for married couples. We were able to "get some" relaxation, peace and quiet, worship, notes, laughter, bonding and spiritual tools to strengthen our marriage. We met many other couples and made some friendships that will last for many years to come. We experienced a Christian comedian who was a breath of fresh air and it made me see how the bible can be funny and humor is a gift from God. We laughed until we cried at the comedian Michael Jr.
We heard from miles on topics that most churches are afraid to speak of. Dr Sharon may -the first white "African American" doctor that brought us the scientific and chemical balance that we find in only our spouse. We learned of how to tame our dragons when a conflict arises.
It was an amazing weekend and I am so grateful to my friends who were able to watch kyler so we could reconnect.















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Take me out to the ballgame

We took kyler to his first padres game in San Diego on Friday night. He had a blast and everyone around us loved him.












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Month of March

This is what my March looked like... Nothing fancy - I'm looking for a part time job to keep me busy and out of the house, but also out of the malls. Ha.




















I love this app by the way. Happy April to all!



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Last night watching LifeClass on OWN, I met Iyanla VanZant. She is an inspirational speaker who I felt was speaking to me. She talked about pain (Pay Attention Inward Now) and how people are masking the everyday pain we go through to make it normal. And in order to fix the pain, one must feel the pain, deal with the pain, and work to heal the pain.

After watching the episode I googled Iyanla and she has written over 8 books and I am obsessed with good quotes. I came across this one and I decided to share it.

"Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on."

How awesome is this? I look forward to her show on the OWN network this summer.

spring training

We drove to Phoenix Thursday evening and stayed with our friends in Goodyear. We met Jake and Tay at the Spring Training game in Surprise. It was cool to see the players but in a more relaxed way. The fans were still
Loud and proud and the prices of the beer did not change...
The weather was amazing. Sunny everyday with some breeze. Kyler
Got the typical desert runny nose and has been fighting a cold for two days.
Jake didn't have to play or suit up the last day so we were able to go eat at paradise bakery and then we went bowling. It was a great visit and we are glad we got
To see everyone in Arizona.

On our way home we got the news that Matt doesn't have to go on det next weekend and that is even better news.

Uncle Jake showed us around the Texas Rangers field.


Keegan and Steph drove up from Tucson and went to a game with us!


Dinner night at the Sigovich's.


We stopped at Cabela's.


Bowling on the Last day. Lol




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something to think about...

This was written by a Metro Denver Hospice Physician:

I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd. , and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turnover.

Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the quickie mart building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay. When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her... It was a nickel.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95. I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying 'I don't want my kids to see me crying! ,' so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, 'And you were praying?' That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, 'He heard you, and He sent me.'

I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.

She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City. Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan. 1, and finally, in desperation, had called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there. So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.

I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, 'So, are you like an angel or something?' This definitely made me cry. I said, 'Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people.'

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.

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Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...

Psalms 55:22 ' Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.'

love your enemies

"if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

in doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." romans 12:20

the past two years have been particularly rough on me and my relationships with other women. i have opened myself up too much to too many women and they turned around and judged me, criticized my motherhood, and belittled me down to almost nothing. but through all of these hardships, i have been able to realize what is important in life. my faith, my husband, my son and my family. that is all.

relationships are tough. the older i get the more i know that it is more important to have a few true friends, than many fake ones. the military is notorious for meeting a lot of people many times throughout the year - and sometimes we relate to them because we are going through similar stories like deployments and detachments. but, be careful who you open yourself up to.... people make take what you have shown or told them and spread gossip to others while judging you and twisting things around. all of the "she said, he said" is so juvenile and it is so tiring time after time.

i have chosen to cut the toxic out of my life and move on with what is important to me. friends come and go, but family is forever.

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

ours

"don't worry your pretty little mind,

people throw rocks at things that shine"

seems like people enjoy watching others be miserable... well not this time. i refuse to let what others say, bother me. it is a hard thing to do, but i honestly don't have time to care. i am too busy spending time time with people that i love and nurturing my few friendships as well as spending time with my son and husband. life is too short to be anything but happy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OniajbXAJXE

my son

every night when we say good night, i tell my son that i love him to the moon and back.... he says the same.

i have been spending a lot of time alone with kyler. i am fascinated by his hunger for knowledge and how well he picks up things. seeing him light up for the first time when he sees a giraffe or learns a new letter on his own makes all the struggles worth it.

we say our prayers every night after his bath. there is nothing better than the smell of a child straight out of the bath and in clean pajamas waiting to be tucked in for the night. he enjoys reading me his books each night and i miss him while he is asleep. i am thankful to God every day that he blessed me to by kyler's mother. it is like no joy i have ever experienced and what they say about your heart walking outside of your body in the form of a little boy is so true. and you won't understand until you have a child of your own.

kyler is the best thing to ever happen to me and i need to remind myself that each and everyday because if i blink for just one second he will be 18.....

my family

I had the pleasure of my family visiting me in California two weeks ago and it was so much fun. We did all the sight seeing touristy stuff and I showed them the best parts of San Diego. We had a great time and it just made me miss them even more.




The girls at Corvette Diner! We had a blast.

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grace.

"feed your faith, and your fears will starve to death."

i have had to be reminded of this lately.... with all of the trouble that exists in this world, the only true and constant is God's grace. for without it, there would be no hope.

i am truly grateful for my family, my close and few friends, my son, my husband and his courage to do what he does, and grace.

valentines day

another valentines day without my husband, but we celebrated it before he left for the detachment by going to dinner at the lighthouse. we found the restaurant when we were taking mom, dad, joe & claire. matt found out they have a sunday brunch with bottomless mimosas! sounds like my kind of brunch! ;)

kyler and I spent the whole day hanging with Tera. we cleaned her place and had a lot of girl talk -- It was just the thing I needed to get my mind off of things that have been happening lately.




My Morning Valentine. It's my
Favorite way to wake up each day. I love this kid so much.

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inner peace

quotes i like

"never blame anyone in your life.

good people give you happiness

bad people give you experience

worst people give you lessons

and best people give you memories."